We are born into pain; You probably don’t remember screaming when you poked your head into the world and got slapped for it; but you know that is the way it works from seeing it happen to others. Later in life we’ll stub our toe, (boy does that ever hurt), we might be rejected by our first love, (and that is way more painful than the pain of a stubbed toe). I imagine the worst pain would be the unimaginable pain resulting from Sophie’s Choice. Sophie while under the boot of her Nazi guard was given the choice of  keeping only one of her two children;  the child she chose, lived; the other child died. Healthy minds just naturally want to avoid pain. 

The healthy mind is drawn towards pleasure like honey bee is drawn towards a flower. We believe that pleasure will bring us happiness, and it usually does…for awhile. Scientific studies have shown that once we are satiated with anything the pleasure recedes like the outgoing tide and we are left with unpleasant feelings and we ask ourselves, “Is that all there is, why I am not happy?” And so we seek immoderately more—more luxurious houses, more sex, drugs, food, jewelry, adventure—anything to stimulate our senses in a pleasurable way.

But we ruefully discover multiple million dollar houses frustrate us because we can live in only one at a time; multiple sex partners exhaust us physically and emotionally; more drugs cause us to stumble over the edge into the abyss; more food bloats the body; more jewelry and we look like a Christmas tree; and more adventures in the outside world impoverishes our inner world. 

We seek pleasure because we believe that pleasure will bring us happiness. But when we explore our inner world we note that although self gratification might bring pleasure, it does not bring happiness by its side. 

 When I explore my inner world I discover which things bring me pleasure and which things bring me joy.

Self-gratification brings me pleasure.

Authenticity, awareness, acceptance, and compassion bring me joy.

I observe that—although I might incidentally amass wealth, build monuments or wield power—my destiny is to expand and deepen within myself authenticity, awareness, acceptance and compassion—in a word: goodness. 

Google has developed a culture of goodness.

Google has an ongoing program developed and presented by, an engineer, Chad-Meng Tan who, was hired by Google its infancy. After a few years of writing programs, Chade-Meng Tan was inspired to develop a program that would bring out the goodness in people. With the encouraging blessing of Google he developed a seminar that is given on an ongoing basis to roomfuls of Google engineers. The program has leaked out of the Google campus and has spread into the world wide businesses community.

The free seminar is avail on line at:

If you decide to watch the seminar I suggest you be sure to watch it clear through to the end because Chade-Meng Tan does a fantastic job of pulling it all together at the closing. 

Send your comments to me, Neil Bezaire, at I would enjoy hearing from you. Attention will be paid.


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